Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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