We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
