her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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