went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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