i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
