Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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