a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
