Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
