so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
