i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I yelled at your uterus for you.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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