Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
