on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
