Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Then you guys just all showered together...?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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