You're completely useless in the revolution.
Fuck appropriateness.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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