Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
