it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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