so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Acid is not a monday night drug
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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