Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
