how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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