I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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