i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
