have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
