I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize