You're earring is so big in my mouth
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
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