Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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