when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
