man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
