Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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