At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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