just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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