Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize