Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
