It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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