This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
