Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
