i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
