Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Randomize
