took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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