Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
