The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
