im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize