Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Randomize
