I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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