Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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