i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
