Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I am full of burrito and curiosity
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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