My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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