Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
