I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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