I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize