I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Randomize
