Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I wannas sexs uuuuu
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
