the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Just cropdusted the office
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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