there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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