Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
