I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
