Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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