Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize