The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize