happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
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