Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
