is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize