Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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