Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
