Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
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